|Some Island in the sea,|
Grüße Gott Mutter, Vater, Eigen, Maria, Wolfgang, Annaliese, Andreas, Karen, Mitzi, Greta, Agata, Wanda, Rolf unt Fritz,
Now that the perils of the war are more or less over I will now be able to let you know how our plans are progressing and the state of our little nest egg. I should think you are very pleased to not have yet another letter telling you how much I love Frau Maynard and her everlasting (and ever longer) family (I don’t know how she does it, Tom Evans and I have never yet had a single accident, but it happens to her all the time, I suspect is has some link to the shepherds hut she keeps getting trapped in whilst out walking that bloody dog, I am convinced her latest brat looks like Evan Evans the shepherd).
I was unable to complete my letter, Frau Maynard arrived in my kitchen and demanded lemon biscuits for 14 new girls who were due in less than half an hour. I added arsenic to four of them.
Frau Maynard has gone out for a walk (with the damn dog and a very determined expression on her face which does not bode well for Evan Evans) so I can continue with this letter. Having arrived in England I took all the money we stole from the Chalet School before the war and invested it in a local bank with no questions asked. I have added to it periodically since then with the ‘bonus‘ paid me by Jack for adding a sedative to Frau Maynard’s morning coffee. Currently it stands at £1.5million. We can be certain that ‘Pheiffen World of Phun‘ will soon be in production in the Tyrol. I have agreed with Jack that we can display the Frau Maynard in the ‘Cabinet of Curiosities‘ as long as she is not actually pickled in formaldyhyde. I have also been successful in siphoning much of the funds raised by the sale and have added those also.
Frau Maynard came back from ‘walking Rufus‘ looking exhausted and has had to spend the last few days in bed, from the look in her eyes she is going to be ‘busy‘ again soon. Busy! Ha! Who is it that has to do all the work whilst she is busy? That would be me. Hopefully it won’t be a multiple birth this time.
Uggg... Have just returned from yet another Chalet School Pageant. Why Frau Maynard thinks I would be interested in watching a show performed by girls from a school I didn’t go to I don’t know. However, I was able to bribe one pupil, Dickie Christie, with a £200 contribution to her ‘Running Away‘ fund and she kindly livened things up by blowing a large shell and causing her horse to bolt.
Happy Christmas all! Frau Maynard chose Christmas dinner to announce her latest period of busyness, Jack choked on his plum pudding and then chose to invent a medical emergency at the San to get away.
Looking forwards to seeing you in Austria in the new year!
The Christmas Letters 2014 by abbeybufo, Alison H, JS1, Abi, Beecharmer, Finn, Elle, Blue, cestina, Chubby Monkey, exile, Someone, crm, Danish
Author's Chapter Notes: