Cornelia Flower walked along the street. She was dressed in a pair of smart jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers, and was surveying her surroundings. She didn’t quite know where she was, her clothing was what she would have called “odd”, and the buildings were rather different to what she was used to.
Suddenly a pair of boys came up on either side of her and took hold of her. “’ello gorgeous, going our way?” they asked her. Though she wasn’t familiar with the phraseology used, Corny knew this was not a situation she wanted to be in, so she turned on them with the first language which came to mind. “Leave me alone you splay-footed, rubbernecked nincompoop of a four-flusher!” she told them with an angry tone to her voice.
To her amazement, the two young men let go of her and started to rock with laughter. “Where did you pick up that daft lingo love?” One of them got out while gasping for breath.
Corny surveyed them in disdain before continuing her tirade. “You are a pair of pie-faced owls, and what’s more you’re also mean rubber-necked clams!”
This naturally set off another gale of laughter in the two young men. “You sure about that are you?” The other one decided to check up with her.
“Sure?” Corny asked him, “You bet your bonehead I’m sure, and I’d despise to have anything to do with a pair of such means!” At this, the two men decided that they had accosted a madwoman and wanted nothing more to do with her, so they took their leave as quickly as they might extricate themselves, and Cornelia was left to her contemplation of her surroundings, mostly unaware of what fate she had narrowly avoided.
Suddenly she heard the pealing of a bell, followed soon after by the familiar groaning from the next cubical “Nasty, mean pie-faces not going to make me get up in the morning!”
She laughed and called out “stop your whinging, rubber-neck!” And having decided that she had tempted providence once too many times, she got up and scurried to put on the school clothing which felt more natural than that which she had been wearing the evening before.
It was good to be home!