Abigail lay back on her bed listening to the music filling her room and reflecting that this time tomorrow everything would be so different. It was the last night she would spend in her own room until Christmas. I’ve got nothing on my mind, nothing to remember, nothing to forget, I’ve got nothing to regret. She was sure that she’d made the right decision about going to school, but, at the same time, the change was so huge she couldn’t help but be a little wary. But I’m all tied up on the inside, no one knows quite what I’ve got. And I know that on the outside, what I used to be I’m not anymore. Thinking back over the last few months she couldn’t believe how much her life had changed, how much the others around her had changed, and more importantly, how much she herself had changed. You know I’ve heard about people like me but I never made the connection, they walk one road to set them free and find they’ve gone the wrong direction. This time twelve months ago she’d been back at her state school wondering which cause to take up the fight for next. She’d known only the bare essentials of a mother who had left her as a baby, but now she’d been told so much she felt as though she really knew her. But there’s no need for turning back ‘cos all roads lead to where I stand and I believe I’ll walk them all no matter what I may have planned. She might never fully understand her mother’s reasoning to do the things she had, but she no longer blamed her, any negative feelings she’d built up over the years were fading. Can you remember who I was? Can you still feel it? Can you find my pain? Can you heal it? Then lay your hands upon me now and cast this darkness from my soul. At the time of her mother’s death she hadn’t known how she was supposed to feel, she still wasn’t. It hurt for so many reasons, the more she was told about her mother, the more painful it became to know that she would never get to know her properly. You alone can light my way, you alone can make me whole once again. Everything in Abigail’s existence had changed so rapidly, the boundaries had all changed and things were no longer so clear and safe as they once had been. We’ve walked both sides of every street through all kinds of windy weather but that was never our defeat as long as we could walk together. Robert put his head around Abigail’s door, after a few seconds she became aware of him there and they grinned at each other. She may never have had her mother, but she had always had her father. So there’s no need for turning back ‘cos all roads lead to where we stand and I believe we’ll walk them all no matter what we may have planned.
Author's Chapter Notes:
With apologies to Don McLean